ThoughtlessMindfulBliss

If every choice is made from where you are...
what if you moved?

 

 

What if...we chose to be fearless?  mindful?  happy?  What choices would follow?  I've made myself sick with worry, sleepless nights, bouts with the "heebee geebees" (what my mom called when it feels like there are ants crawling all over your legs), upset stomach, headaches and even shoulder pain.  When I'm afraid or angry I make poor decisions in my daily life, stay up too late, eat high-fat/sugar laden foods, snap at the people whom share my dwelling and dive into endless hours of watching mindless television or scrolling through the same social media information multiple times.

 

When I am in a place of joy and contentment (a place absent of fear, disgust or nonacceptance) I make better choices.  You may find me stretching on the floor, writing in a notebook or going for a 3-mile walk.  You may find me preparing beautiful salads for my lunch for the week, organizing a closet or planting flowers in the garden, I will wake up early and I will do my hair & makeup (this is something that makes me feel good when I do it, but many times I'd rather sleep the extra 20 minutes).

When I am bogged down with repetitive thoughts that serve no one, I am tired, cranky and can't seem to get even the smallest task done.  This has be a great challenge to me.  I've read books, listened to speakers, talked with friends and though I can not express the comfort and understanding I've come to with my studies, there's still something I didn't quite "get" and decided to try something different. 

I have been practicing meditation for nearly two months now.  At first, I found it enticing...the idea of turning off my brain seemed delectable.  After my first week I found myself frustrated with the amount of time I spent during my meditation "re-focusing" after a stray mental rambling came strolling by.  Then, something did happen...I got comfortable...I took my deep breath in...exhaled slowly and left.  I didn't leave...like leave the planet or anything.  But my thoughts and my thinking did.  I was unable to measure the time I was gone, but had it not been for the bell to bring me back, I might still be out there...somewhere (well, until I had to pee).  It is that moment that urges me on.  I've had fewer of those thoughtless moments and more of the re-focusing trials, though I have not gone a day since without taking a moment (usually several) where I take a deep breath in and mentally say "so" and exhale and mentally say "hum".  I use it when I'm thinking about things that are none of my business (i.e. a friends love life, what someone thinks of me, etc.), also, I've used it when I realize the thoughts I'm having I can't do anything about them Now (i.e. stupid thing I said with friends, I lost a gift card, all the things I have to do or all the things I have forgotten to do).  It has given me more energy.  Period.  I wish thinking could burn calories as fast as it burns energy.  It has allowed me to focus on projects.  It has allowed me to indulge in writing more.  It has given me a better night's sleep (when the dogs are obliged, of course).  And all of these things make me feel lighter, happier, more aligned...and it is here that I want to live.

Find what gets you to the place where it's easy to make good choices for yourself and get comfortable...you may be here awhile! 

"In, out
Deep, slow
Calm, ease
Smile, release
Present moment, wonderful moment."

~Thich Nhat Hanh~